Thanksgiving madness

As everyone around us is getting ready for the holiday, we once again are reminded how odd we are.

The kids haven't, in their mind at least, ever been to a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. It has been a number of years since we have done anything special for a holiday. None of us care for turkey or most of the traditional foods served during this particular celebration and because of circumstances we don't spend the holidays with our extended family.

A number of years ago we started the tradition of making a number of different appetizers and just eating throughout the day. That fell by the wayside last year in the yurt and I don't think I'm going to revive it. It's just too much work and I just don't care. Since we will once again be spending the day with just the 4 of us I don't see the point of doing anything special.

That's not to say we aren't thankful for the gifts God has given us. We have wonderful friends, a great church we attend as often as our monetary resources allow, and Paul is employed. Especially given everything we have gone through this year, we feel very blessed. Even though it feels as if we have lost some extended family this year we are thankful for the family we have in Christ.

Birthday Celebrations

Lorna's birthday was last Friday, the 17th. When we asked her what she would like to do to celebrate she asked to have dinner with friends. So she got her wish yesterday.

We had dinner at our friend's house where they invited over a few of her friends to celebrate.


Since we are not a normal family, this was not your average birthday party for an 11 year old. But my baby girl is happy and that's all that matters to me!

Trees, Power Lines, and Water Tanks

We learned an important, although obvious lesson, a few days ago. These 3 things don't go well together in high winds.

The wind knocked down a tree that had the power lines strung through it. The tree didn't break the line because the water tank broke its fall. The tree and tank duelled but although the tank fought well, it lost. The tank now has a hole the size of a large orange in the top. That would have been bad enough without the rest. The power line is the main line into the house. It is attached to a riser that goes into the main box. So as the line was pulled down it pulled the riser with it.

We called the power company out to fix the line. They unhooked it but told us the riser had to be replaced before they would reinstall the line. We called every electrician in the valley and finally found one who squeezed us in. By 2:30 pm the riser was replaced. Upon replacing the riser the electrician found a problem with the main box. It's old and since the home inspection a wire has come loose, it got hot and welded the connection in place. We need to replace the box asap. It's a bummer because it will have to wait as I don't have that kind of money laying around.

Once the riser was replaced we called the power company out again. They arrived at 9:15pm to rehook the lines. Amazingly it was the same guys who came at 8 that morning. So the power is reinstalled, our bank account is much lighter, and we have a new riser.

We have 2 more trees in that area that need to come down. Unfortunately one has the phone lines run through it. Both will have to wait for a ladder to be purchased because they need to be taken down branch by branch since they are in between the water tank, dog run, and tool shed.

Oh and just so you don't think it was that easy, in cutting up the tree to remove it from the water tank a branch fell on the clothes line and ripped the support out from under the carport. I could really use 6 months of boredom right now.

Searching

I was reading through the blogs I like to visit and found the following comment from traininup3:.

"My soul is searching for something, but I doubt "it" will ever be found. I mean, I've felt like this for so many years that I've forgot what it feels like to be whole. And how exactly does one find something when one isn't even sure what that something is?"

This really hit me. This is exactly how I have felt over the past few years. We left CA because we were searching for something. We tried living a more self-sufficient lifestyle because we were searching for something. We found things we loved while searching but nothing that ever seemed to fill that void. I thought this was just something Paul and I felt!

But here's the problem, what if you find that something? Do you then dare let yourself have it knowing there is always the possibility of losing it?

I have no idea if we have found "it" but we have found something that makes us feel whole. In moving back here to, once again, follow a job, we rediscovered the feeling of being "near" the people we love. I'm not talking about our biological family but about our church family and especially a few dear friends. They may be 3 hours away but we are closer than we were living out of state and have the opportunity to be involved on a regular basis.

But do you really allow these relationships to fill that void? Every time I think of how much I've allowed these people to touch my life I freeze wondering if this is such a good idea. I've been thinking about this a lot lately and it's probably more than anyone wants to know about me but... I think I've found the thing that makes me feel whole but it's something that makes me feel vulnerable at the same time. So now instead of searching for it, I struggle with it.

Boxes are still everywhere.

Just in case you are wondering, yes boxes are still everywhere. I'm not even going to bother to post a picture, it's too depressing.

I hate the sight of them, they depress me since they are a reminder of what a failure I am as a wife and mother. I just can't get excited about unpacking anymore. There is no more room. We still have the deck full of boxes, although the house and carport have been taken care of. I have bills that are MIA, they are probably in a box on the deck. I really need to find them so I can pay them as they are the few that can't be paid online.

So I feel like a complete failure. My goal was to not have boxes everywhere since we were going to unpack things as they were moved here. My goal was to have my kitchen completely in order by now. My goal was... I failed at all my goals. The shed still doesn't have the roof fixed, it's supposed to rain tonight, I can't find any of the tarps...

To top it all off, I'm in email withdrawal. It's been 24 hours since I've received anything. I usually have so many it's hard to keep up, I like it that way! I rely on my IM partner and email lists to keep me sane, it's hard when those things are taken away even if it's only temporary. Besides, what excuse am I going to have to keep from unpacking anymore?

Deep Breath

I need to take one of those every few minutes right now. If you don't want to "hear" me whine just stop right now.

We found that the table won't fit. You know, the dining table where we eat. I bought it 6 months ago and I love it. It's round, I've always wanted a round table. It has a leaf that extends out so it's not all that big when it's folded in. It's a perfect size for school work. And it won't fit. I'm trying not to cry. Nothing is working out the way I wanted it to. Every time I come up with a solution for a problem two more crop up. So I'm going to take a deep breath and try to think up a solution.

To top it all off, Paul brought home 2 more boxes of junk today. Work related stuff that was sent to his boss by mistake. That's the last thing I wanted to see right now. The new job is going good from his perspective. From mine, it's frustrating. We had to buy a cell phone. We had to buy a new computer because the company's software is not Mac compatible. I'm tired of fighting with employers who think you have all the money in the world to spend on stuff for work. And no they didn't have anything in writing about needing a computer let alone a PC.

I'm breathing. I'm trying to be calm. I think it's time for chocolate.