Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Good Friends

I just got off the phone with a good friend who I rarely get to talk to and even more rarely get to see. She lives in Nebraska with her husband and 5 kids. Our relationship is the type where we are always comfortable with one another and pick up where we left off as if we talk every day.

I always feel so much better after talking to her. We got married within a few months of each other after meeting during our freshman year in college. She was actually one of my roommates but left after that first year to start a family. We had our first kids within a few months of each other as well. Paul and I are the godparents to her 4th child so there is also that special bond between our two families.

There is something to be said about friends who are at the same stage in life. I can tell her things and she understands because she homeschools too. I can vent my frustrations and worries and she's there to pick me up, commiserate, and just listen. I think it's impossible for that to happen with friends who are at a different stage or have never experienced the same kinds of hardships.

I've spent a lot of time recently questioning my life and myself. I've come to realize that I need that pick me up from someone who understands. I need to be able to tell someone my frustrations about being a SAHM without being told that it's my choice and I should go get a job. I need to be able to share my difficulties about finances without being told that I shouldn't complain, I've made my choice to live like this. Sometimes it's just nice to be told that it's okay to be sad and disillusioned, instead of the response to just be happy. I admit that my personality tends to be pessimistic and I sometimes wish I could be more happy. But as much as I have tried to be that way I am miserable trying to pretend to be something I'm not. I guess, sometimes, I just need to hear that it's okay to have doubts and it's also okay to express them.

So right now I'm exceedingly thankful for my friend in Nebraska, I can be myself and share my life and not be faced with anything other than acceptance and loving concern.


Presbytera said...

I am so thankful Kim that you have a safe ear in your dear friend. I have a friend (for 45 years) that is not a member of our church, doesn't homeschool and has never had children and yet she's been there every step of the way. She is my safe ear.

Kim said...

Thanks, Barb. Maybe it's less about what they have experiencd and more about how much they care and have it within themselves to listen? Maybe it's just a special kind of person. I automatically assumed it was life experience because of the inability for others to understand and listen but that could just be those around me.

Marie N. said...

Hi Kim,
My best girlfriend (we mwt in college too) is the same kind of good listener that you describe. I could also relate very well to the way you wrote about every conversation picking up as if you spoke together all the time.
Right now my best friend's daughter, my goddaughter, is about to go off to college in the fall. On top of that my friend has gone back to finish college herself. All this with three boys in elementary school. I'm gratefully returning her many favors over the years and becomming her listening ear.

The special person who clicks with you and the shared experiences between you two are worth gold.

Marie N. said...

I can't believe I did that -- my last line was supposed to say "worth MORE THAN gold."

I think I have been blogging too long.